|
Post by Lopez on Jul 6, 2009 14:12:13 GMT -7
The smmer job stories are awesome~
Here's something that happened yesterday...
Pez: *Is drinking coffee* Mr. Coughlin: *skeptically* Are you drinking coffee? Pez: Yes...o.o Mr. Coughlin: You know, coffee stunts your growth... Pez: *gets up and dumps the coffee*
I'm sorry, bu I do NOT want to be any shorter than I am v.v
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Oct 5, 2009 13:49:14 GMT -7
Ms. K: Ah, but nobody really knows when Shakespear died! Robby Young: ...Like Tupac....
RUMUN Model UN Meeting Location: dirty Lovely Jersey Climate: Cold&Radioactive Sunny with a chance of BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN!
|
|
|
Post by Lopez on Oct 5, 2009 19:38:17 GMT -7
[In Art Class]
Harry: *looks over to see Pez's artwork of a human head* Oh my God. Is that an ACORN? Pez: *blink* o.o yes. Harry: Ah. I see it has hair. Pez: That's 'cause it's an awesome acorn. xP Harry: Exactly.
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Nov 27, 2009 19:11:31 GMT -7
Alexis: I kinda want Barack to win the election... but I kinda want Obama to win too.
Alexis: But Cincinatti has to be a state! WE DROVE TO IT!
Alexis: Alaska? Isn't that like, the captial of Russia?...No, it can't be in the US! It's too cold to be in America!
Kasey:...I didn't know Helena was the captial of Montana... Since when is Montana a state!?
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Nov 27, 2009 19:25:59 GMT -7
Kasey: *says Grace at the table* And thank you for the Jonas Brothers, and Taylor Lautner's hotness... Zuki: KASY STFU OR I WILL PUT MY FORK THROUGH YOUR EYE Kerry:... *takes over for Kasey* I know it's been a tough year, with the loss of Mr. Jacksen and all *gets choked up, on the verge of tears* BUT WE-- HAVE A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR! *total silence* Kasey:...Thanks mom, that was really awkward.
Zuki:...That was so stupid I think I want to cry. [Said multiples times a day usually.]
Kim: Ugh! And her name is Sabrina... Like the teenage witch! Zuki:... more like Sabrina the fatass bitch. [About my 300lb bio teacher...]
Ali: So the lotus eaters... They were like, the crack heads of ancient Greece? Kiessling:... Pretty much actually. And what is the moral of that story? Charlie: beware Greeks bearing gifts! Kiessling:...That was about the Trojan horse and the lotus eaters weren't Greek. Ryan: DON'T ACCEPT CANDY FROM STRANGERS! Kiessling:...Pretty much yeah.
*watching Troy, as the Achilles/Brises sex scene come on* Rob: ew... OMG ARE THEY DOING IT SIDEWAYS!?
Kiessling: My grandmother *never* wore pants!...No, I DONT MEAN IT LIKE THAT! She wore skirts, and dresses!
Great Gramma: What do you think you're doing in those shoes!? Kim: What, is the heel too high? Great Gramma: They're pointy! Kim: You never wore pointy shoes? Great Gramma: I did! And now I wish I didn't!
Zuki: *in the hospital visiting her great gramma* *changes the date on the dry erase bored from 11/2/09 to 1/2/01 Kim: What do you think you're doing!? Zuki: What? They're not going to notice anyway. I mean, first off, I don't think they can even see this far, and Great Gramma still thinks it's 1989. Really, at least she'll be closer if she thinks it's 2001.
|
|
|
Post by Lopez on Mar 7, 2010 23:10:37 GMT -7
So I'm at lunch with my friends and we all ordered from this amazing, godly sandwich place called Depot. I finish HALF my Depot classic (chicken, cheese, bacon, lettuce and tomato <33) 'cause it's that big of a frikkin' sandwich; then I toss it out. But then...
Megan: Okay, I'm done here. [Packs up leftovers into brown bag and aims for trash can.] Pez: [Is right by trash can, and is, unfortunately, not short enough to escape this particular situation.] Megan's lunch bag: [Crashes into Pezzy's head, but luckily does not spill contents onto her hair.] Pez: E___E!!! [Glares MK-47's instead of daggers and puts the lunch bag into the trash in a very slow, menacing way for a short latina.] Megan: !!! D: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (etc.) Pez: E-E you are so lucky I'm not using you as a Castro Punching Bag right now... ____________________
[On the day of Olympics Preliminaries.]
Pez: *is looking down creepy cafeteria elevator thinking, why the fuck would a cafeteria need an elevator?* Tsu: *is on MSN with her phone* Pez: *out of nowhere, still staring down elevator shaft* o.o If our school was attacked by a very claustrophobic terrorist this is where we'd lock him up. Tsu: o.o" ...Where do you come up with these things???
|
|
|
Post by keo on Mar 9, 2010 19:56:27 GMT -7
In 4th hour algebra...
Keo: -drops a few books on the floor- Ryan: Oh, that sucks. Keo: -glares at him- Shut the hell up, you annoying prick. Ryan: -laughs- At least I don't draw little cartoons during class. Keo: -happened to be writing first chapter of book; quirks eyebrow and holds it up- Does this look like cartoons? Class: -laugh- Ryan: Shut up you retard. Keo: -smiles at him and crosses eyes- Class: -laugh-
Keo: -notices single american cheese wrappers now have a sign telling you where to open; tells mom- O.o Because opening cheese just wasn't simple enough before.
In gym class 7th hour, we were playing frisbee and Josh was about to throw it.
Josh: Shut up you dumb-dumb! SomeDudeIDon'tKnow: Josh, we're not in kindergarten. Dumb-dumb isn't a bad word any more. Jessica: No, but fuckface is. :]
Later...
Keo: -manages to catch frisbee- Jessica: -tries to wrestle it out of Keo's hands- Keo: ><* LET GO. -gets fed up with it and smacks Jessica's hands away- Jessica: T^T -runs away-
During 8th hour study hall...
Andy: -turns around and looks at Keo, swatting her water bottle off the desk- :3 Keo: -glares and gets water bottle-
5 minutes later...
Andy: -swats water bottle off Keo's desk- ;3 Keo: Stop that. -.- *is not amused* -picks up water bottle again-
2 minutes later...
Andy: -repeats- Keo: ANDY, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'LL STAB YOU! -holds up mechanical pencil menacingly- Andy: -laughs and turns around-
5 more minutes later...
Andy: -attempts to hit water bottle but notices it's on other corner of desk- -.- Keo: -picks it up and takes a drink, quirking eyebrow at Andy- Andy: ... Bitch. -leaves alone-
|
|
|
Post by Lopez on Mar 13, 2010 21:53:17 GMT -7
A convo between me and my friend Mariss about...well, you'll see. ;]
[23:24] muhrissuhh95: mm. lets go. [23:24] erikatheqbin: thehell? [23:24] erikatheqbin: nvm [23:24] erikatheqbin: BAMBOOZLE [23:24] erikatheqbin: <3 [23:24] muhrissuhh95: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [23:24] erikatheqbin: hmm we should travel by llama and pimp out [23:25] muhrissuhh95: wurd [23:25] muhrissuhh95: pimp my llama [23:25] erikatheqbin: THAT SHOULD BE A SHOW ON MTV [23:25] erikatheqbin: qwesrdtfjygh [23:25] erikatheqbin: LEGIT [23:25] muhrissuhh95: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
|
|
|
Post by keo on Mar 17, 2010 16:48:16 GMT -7
Debbs: God bless whoever invented the fucking back-scratcher!
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Mar 18, 2010 19:26:13 GMT -7
Sabrina: *holding the neti pot to her nose in front of the class* No, I can't! I can't do it! I'm scared! What if it goes down my throat!? Emma: It's okay, just tilt your head to the side, you'll be fine a promise. Sabrina: Okay, but do I want to stick it up my nose? Rob: PENIS! Sabrina: *falls back laughing* Oh my god, oh my god, NO SHOUTING *laugh* -several minutes later, she finally does it and it works-- Rob: *pause* side effects may include heart attack or death Sabrina: *starts laughing again* VERY FUNNY. Massimo: That, that was just perfect right there.
Emma: *while presenting a poster on male reproduction* So this is-- Rob: PENIS! Emma:... Yes Robert thank you, it is a penis.
Sabrina: The Penis game? What's the Penis game? Rob: YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED THE PENIS GAME? Gjon: You see who can shout penis the loudest without getting in trouble. Like this! PENIS. Rob: PENIS! Paul: PENIS! Sabrina:... The things you kids come up with when you're bored...
*At ASL, American Sign Language Club* Juno: Okay, so let's see about sign names! So Taylor... Katty: She likes to fence! Juno: So we could incorporate a 'T' into the sign for sword-- no wait, that looks like the sign for toilet. Nevermind.
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Mar 18, 2010 19:37:14 GMT -7
Great Gramma: And all those homosexuals living upstairs... Anne: MOM, I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL Zuki:..*runs down the stairs* What? Anne: Oh nothing. Nanni thinks I'm renting out the upstairs rooms to homosexuals and it disturbs her.
Great Gramma: Oh, I hope I don't die soon. The ground is so cold, you won't be able to dig it up to bury me o.o Margo:... That should be the least of your worries right now...
Zuki: *comes into art decked out in Green, face paint and all* Danielle: YOU'RE GERMAN. Zuki: Uhm, yes, and hello to you too. But I'm also Irish...
David: *turns around and jabs his elbow into zuki's hand* Zuki: Ow! David: Sorry! *two minutes later* David: *turns around again, resting his elbow on Zuki's hand* Zuki: CAN YOU TURN AROUND WITHOUT HITTING ME? David: o.o Sure. *turns back, then swings around and whacks her again* Zuki: -.- very funny David: *drops a textbook on her foot* Zuki:
David: *leaves the room to go to the bathroom* Marissa: *puts a stapler on his chair* Zuki: Seriously? He isn't stupid enough to fall for that. David: *comes back and sits on the stapler* The fuck!? Marissa: HAHAHA. I TOLD YOU.
Powers: When is Passover? David: It's like, a Friday or something? I forget the exact date. Maddie: *looks it up in her planner* TUESDAY THE 30th. Some Jew you are! I'm a better jew than you and I'm not even Jewish! Marissa: >.> I didn't know either >.>
Ely: Those are some mad numbers. Codella: Mad numbers? Ely: Yeah, like, maaaad numbers. Codella: The numbers are mad...?
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Mar 19, 2010 16:10:09 GMT -7
Jen: *bobbing for apples, but can't seem to get one* Taylor M.: Come on, it's not that hard. STAB IT WITH YOUR BUCK TEETH JEN. Taylor W. [Zuki]: Omfg!? WHO SAYS THAT!?
Amanda: *unrolls several rolls of toilet paper, throws it all on the floor, and dives* IM A FISH IN THE TOILET!
Jamie: *attempting to crawl under the chaise lounge* I can't fit. My head. It's too round! Dan: Haha. That's why we call him Deccy. For Decimal head. Because his head is perfectly round. Like a decimal.
Jon: *watching the guy he likes play volleyball* *sigh* He sure knows how to handle a ball...
Ian: *Four year old from camp* My daddy says kindergarten is for little men, and college is for BIG men! Zuki: *twitch* Uhm, thats nice..
Tom: *another kid from camp**points to Sawyer* IS HE THE GUY FROM BLUES CLUES!? Zuki: Uh... No... he's been here... all summer....
|
|
|
Post by ( AIKO ) on Mar 22, 2010 15:18:42 GMT -7
Must try this. >3
~o~
( while walking to next class)
Koe: Jesus. This is an institute of slavery. Fiona: Don't say my name in vain. Koe: .. Wtf. Go die. Fiona: I will. I'm going to have bonding time with my father from Friday. Koe: Yeah, well. You can't walk on water. Fiona: I did it in the bathroom, idiot. Koe: How? |C Fiona: The nature of miracles.
~o~
Dad: -admiring lava lamp- The red makes it look like a volcano, doesn't it? Koe: ... -laughing- Dad: What?
~o~
Fiona: -looking at 'YOU ARE HERE' sign- HOW DO THEY KNOW? -proceeds to run down the street yelling 'ANTICHRIST'-
~o~
Fiona: -walks in barefoot- Koe: Your laces are untied. Fiona: -looks down- Betch.
~o~
Koe: MY ANUS IS BLEEDING. Math Teacher: O-O
~o~
[In Irish Class]
Teacher: Now, what does Uchtarán mean? Koe (and class): ... President. Fiona: Ice-cream! Koe: ... Fiona, that's Uachtar Reoite. Fiona: I blame democracy.
Lame compared to yours. What can you do? XD
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Mar 22, 2010 15:38:46 GMT -7
Lmao no those are funny xD I knows a Fiona too <3 Zuki: *on cell phone* Yo, Connor? Connor: Yeah, mom? Zuki: No, it's Taylor... Connor: Mom--who? Zuki: Taylor, ya know, you've known me since we were like, five? Connor: Oh, hey Taylor... Why are you calling me?
Matt: >.> Meow. Connor: Meow o.o Zuki: Both of you, shut up x.x *proceed to follow her home* Jeremy: WOOF! Connor: MEOW! Matt: RIBBIT! Zuki: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!
Mr. Powers: So now you'll write about whether you believe co-ed schooling is more beneficial then separating boys and girls Scott: Yeah yeah, I heard that was a good movie Mr. Powers:... What movie? Scott: I dunno. Don't listen to me. I dunno what I'm talking about Mr. Powers: v.v Oh, I know
Scott: Can I go to the bathroom? My stomach hurts and I need to take care of business before golf tryouts later Powers: Or you could just be like a bear in the woods Scott: Nah, I can't leave my homeboy James alone for that long
Kyle: Are you Irish? Powers: Partly, yeah Kyle: Do you drink beer? Powers: Yeah, sometimes Kyle: A lot of beer? Powers: no.. Kyle: Then you're not Irish. Powers: So if I said I drank a lot of whiskey....? *ten minutes later* David: Corona? Powers: Ew David: Sam Adams? Powers: I think Samual Adams is an overpriced domestic beer. I could get imported German beer for the same price or better-- it's too expensive and not that good... Kyle, are you even Irish? Kyle: Nope.
Sawyer: *throws the Frisbee* TAYLOR! Why didn't you get that for me?! Zuki: o.o I didn't see it Sawyer: Don't lie, yes you did. It's right by your foot Zuki: *picks it up and throws it back* Sawyer: Thanks! *flings it and gets it stuck in the tree* Zuki: -.- I am not getting that
Zuki: SPIDER! Spike&&Sawyer: *laugh* Zuki: Dx ONE OF YOU KILL IT FOR ME. Spike: *picks it up and brings it over to her* Look! Look! Zuki: Q_Q
James: But I don't want to go with Taylor! You're cooler Sawyer: Nah, Taylor is cool, go with her Zuki: Come on James, you don't like me? James: No! HA! Zuki: v.v James:... I think I'll call you Sawyer, and him Taylor! Zuki:... Greaaaattt. *later* Lauren: Sawyer! Zuki&&Sawyer: Which one v.v? James:... You know what? I think I'm going to call you DORA NOW! LIKE DORA THE EXPLORER! Zuki:... charming... *even later* Sawyer: *Carrying James over his shoulder, drops him in front of Zuki* Apologize. Zuki: o.o It's okay, really [And yes, they called me Dora for the rest of the summer]
Olivia: Ha, I'm telling secrets and you can't know Zuki: Great. Dean: ooo! I know the secret! Zuki: If it's anything about me and Spike-- Dean: PINEAPPLES! Zuki: o.o nevermind o.o
Zuki: *tries to shove door open* v.v It's stuck Sawyer: *runs across the room and ninja kicks the bar* Now it's not Zuki: Holy shit. Thanks.
Angela: Yo, where did Skippy go? Spike: My name is not Skippy.... Angela: Yeah whatever.
Eva: *five years old* I AM A CHILD OF THE CORN!
Eva: *hands Zuki a quarter* I'm earning you cold, hard, cash!
Eva: We went to the zoo this morning. Some people died.
Eva: *at Zuki* I'll stay up with you all night, baby
Eva: *shoves Zuki against the slide* Haha! You're in jail! Zuki: Aww, what did I do to get put in jail? Eva: I'm going to tell people that you hit me! Zuki: Please don't do that, I'll lose my job
|
|
|
Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Mar 23, 2010 14:12:56 GMT -7
Sophie: But I want to get my memoir back! I'll stay after class! Kiessling: Sophie, stop whining! I don't want to, it's my lunch and I'm hungry and pregnant Sophie: ME TOO! Kiessling: Please don't scare me like that.
Mr. Kelly: I mean, you guys do make stupid mistakes. Like once, I had a kid leave out one letter-- he wrote en entire essay on the 'Pubic' wars, instead of the 'Punic' wars. And I just put a big question mark on it.
Mr. Kelly: I had a kid once, asked me what a Tee-zar was. He knew what a Czar was, but not a Tsar.
Mr. Kelly: One kid, told me that I taught the class about the Quaran, but not about the ko-ran. Sounded Southern... I think this was the Tee-zar kid too...
Helena: I'm trying to contain my excitement, but it's getting so hard! Zuki: That's what she said. Katty&Helena: *collapse into laughter* Zuki: Sorry if this makes you uncomforable 'Lena, but, just how hard is it? *winkwink* Helena: -.-'
|
|