Post by kalak on Mar 30, 2010 17:11:22 GMT -7
Posted this on the internet's wretched hive of scum and villainy not too long ago, under the moniker of Skulltaker Write[DATA EXPUNGED]. I thought I'd share it with you. The idea started in a discussion of Warhammer 40,000. We realized that Skulltaker, one of the named characters, had no real personality. Somebody suggested that we make him an intellectual, and I ran with it. Fair warning: This is violent. Of course it is, it's Warhammer. It also assumes some knowledge, so you might not understand all of it without knowing the fluff.
Skulltaker cut his way through the PDF troops. Something had been on his mind lately, and this uneducated rabble wouldn't be able to discuss it with him. He grabbed the throat of the last survivor of the squad and lifted him into the air. "There are Astartes supporting your unit, yes?" he asked. The soldier choked out a yes. "Good." said U'zuhl. "Now, where is their Chaplain?" The soldier just pointed, no longer able to speak through the daemon's chokehold. Skulltaker smiled and thanked the man before snapping his neck. He was finally going to get his answers.
"Drive them back, brothers!" The Chaplain plowed into the ranks of traitor Guardsmen, spearheading the charge with a Black Templar Assault Squad. Their jump packs roared as they crashed down around him. Then, a red blur darted out from the traitor ranks, beheading a marine. Skulltaker made short work of the battle brothers before turning his attention to the Chaplain. The guardsmen stood back, knowing full well what would become of them if they got in the way.
"I've been about your Emperor lately, and something occurred to me. I wanted to run it by one of you, hammer out the details." the daemon said, slowly circling the Chaplain. The Astartes leader seethed with rage. "You dare speak of our beloved God-Emperor, monster?" he shouted, leveling his bolt pistol at Skulltaker. U'zuhl grabbed up the body of a fallen marine, and used it as a shield. “So that’s how it’s going to be, eh?” the Chaplain said, holstering his gun. "Of course. We’re going to have a little chat, you and I, and we can’t have that noisy little contraption drowning us out. I recommend you keep it holstered, unless you want to cause unnecessary desecration to your brothers." U’zuhl said, flinging the corpse aside.
Now the duel was really beginning. Skulltaker closed the distance and the two crossed weapons, but it was clear that the daemon was toying with his prey. "I found some books recently. Old Terran philosophy, Nietzsche to be precise. I had heard the name, but hadn't read his works before." The Chaplain growled when he heard the name. "I take it you're familiar with him. Good." Skulltaker said, flipping over a swing of the Chaplain's mace. "I was reading Also Sprach Zarathustra, and it occurred to me that the Emperor fit the Ubermensch archetype to a T."
The Chaplain was furious. "The Emperor was not an amoral monster!" he shouted, bringing his mace down in a two-handed strike. Skulltaker leaped out of the way. "A common misconception." he said, rolling to his feet. "The Ubermensch is not amoral. He has a strict moral code of his own creation. You must admit that your Emperor matches this, at least. One point for me." He darted past the Chaplain, slashing at his side and leaving a shallow but ragged cut.
The Chaplain ignored the pain, making a blind swing for the daemon as he passed. His strike connected, hitting Skulltaker in the back and sending him stumbling. "Now now, Padre." U'zuhl said, turning and parrying the next attack. "You still haven't made your case. Do try to stick to the rules of civilized debate, would you? Now, where was I?" he mused. A PDF Commissar rushed him from behind, chainsword raised. U'zuhl dodged and gave him a light push, sending the human into the path of the Chaplain's mace. "Oh' that's right, authority. Thank you." he said to the Commissar's splattered remains.
"The Ubermensch rebels against his society. He defies the norms of his time, and by his defiance, he comes to change them." he was having to speed up now. The Chaplain's rage had made him creative, and he had taken up the Commissar's sword to fight with two weapons. Skulltaker decided he would have to put a stop to that.
"When your Emperor first arose, he changed the world. Nay, the galaxy with his ideas. His enthusiasm was infectious, as evidenced by your fanaticism today. He did not bow to the system, he remade it in his image. Point the second." Skulltaker saw an opening in the Chaplain's guard and took it. His sword lashed out at the left elbow joint. Muscles severed, the Chaplain's left hand went limp and the chainsword clattered to the ground, still whirring. "Say what you will, beast, but the words of that godless heretic are as empty as your own!" the Chaplain roared, surging forward. Skulltaker laughed, sidestepping and holding out his cape like a bullfighter. "And now comes the delicious, delicious irony." he crowed, kicking the Chaplain in the back and watching him stumble. "As you may remember, the Emperor himself was an avowed atheist in his lifetime." This enraged the Chaplain further. "He lives still!" he bellowed, swinging wildly. Skulltaker parried effortlessly. His blows were growing less focused. "Maybe, maybe not. But we're losing the point. It may have been that the Emperor knew of the existence of the True Gods, or maybe not. But the atheism of an Ubermensch stems not from a lack of faith, but from defiance. He turns his back on Heaven choosing to make his own way. You cannot deny that your Emperor did this. Third point to me." Skulltaker parried another strike and stepped behind the Chaplain, striking at the back of a knee joint. The Astartes' leg gave out, and he dropped to one knee. Still determined to fight, he shifted himself to face his opponent and lashed out with his mace.
Skulltaker hopped over the swing. The fight was already over, but he wasn't done talking. Let the mortal flail, he had one last point to make. "This brings us to the supreme irony of the Imperium of Man. The Emperor was an atheist, you revere him as a god. He defied the social structure, you follow it blindly. He questioned the morals of his time, you punish such questions with death. You are his opposite. The people of the Imperium fit the archetype of the Last Man. Where the Ubermensch overthrows the system, you need it. You reject the Gods and replace them with your own. You lack a moral compass, and are given one by your system. In short, you are a twisted parody of your beloved Emperor, and his enemy by your very nature. Fourth point." Skulltaker's sword lashed out, severing the Chaplain's right arm. Desperate to harm the daemon in any way he could, the Chaplain tried to headbutt U'zuhl. Instead, he was met with a pommel to the face. The blow cracked his helmet, and the daemon pulled it off. "You know, it's the darndest thing." he said, placing his hand on the dazed Chaplain's forehead. "I find Nietzsche to be intellectually bankrupt, but I'm fascinated by him anyway." With that, he spoke the Eight Words of Release. Daemonic fire engulfed the Chaplain's head, leaving only a bleached skull for him to take. The Astartes had been less talkative than he'd hoped, but his actions had spoken loudly enough. The debate was settled.
"Drive them back, brothers!" The Chaplain plowed into the ranks of traitor Guardsmen, spearheading the charge with a Black Templar Assault Squad. Their jump packs roared as they crashed down around him. Then, a red blur darted out from the traitor ranks, beheading a marine. Skulltaker made short work of the battle brothers before turning his attention to the Chaplain. The guardsmen stood back, knowing full well what would become of them if they got in the way.
"I've been about your Emperor lately, and something occurred to me. I wanted to run it by one of you, hammer out the details." the daemon said, slowly circling the Chaplain. The Astartes leader seethed with rage. "You dare speak of our beloved God-Emperor, monster?" he shouted, leveling his bolt pistol at Skulltaker. U'zuhl grabbed up the body of a fallen marine, and used it as a shield. “So that’s how it’s going to be, eh?” the Chaplain said, holstering his gun. "Of course. We’re going to have a little chat, you and I, and we can’t have that noisy little contraption drowning us out. I recommend you keep it holstered, unless you want to cause unnecessary desecration to your brothers." U’zuhl said, flinging the corpse aside.
Now the duel was really beginning. Skulltaker closed the distance and the two crossed weapons, but it was clear that the daemon was toying with his prey. "I found some books recently. Old Terran philosophy, Nietzsche to be precise. I had heard the name, but hadn't read his works before." The Chaplain growled when he heard the name. "I take it you're familiar with him. Good." Skulltaker said, flipping over a swing of the Chaplain's mace. "I was reading Also Sprach Zarathustra, and it occurred to me that the Emperor fit the Ubermensch archetype to a T."
The Chaplain was furious. "The Emperor was not an amoral monster!" he shouted, bringing his mace down in a two-handed strike. Skulltaker leaped out of the way. "A common misconception." he said, rolling to his feet. "The Ubermensch is not amoral. He has a strict moral code of his own creation. You must admit that your Emperor matches this, at least. One point for me." He darted past the Chaplain, slashing at his side and leaving a shallow but ragged cut.
The Chaplain ignored the pain, making a blind swing for the daemon as he passed. His strike connected, hitting Skulltaker in the back and sending him stumbling. "Now now, Padre." U'zuhl said, turning and parrying the next attack. "You still haven't made your case. Do try to stick to the rules of civilized debate, would you? Now, where was I?" he mused. A PDF Commissar rushed him from behind, chainsword raised. U'zuhl dodged and gave him a light push, sending the human into the path of the Chaplain's mace. "Oh' that's right, authority. Thank you." he said to the Commissar's splattered remains.
"The Ubermensch rebels against his society. He defies the norms of his time, and by his defiance, he comes to change them." he was having to speed up now. The Chaplain's rage had made him creative, and he had taken up the Commissar's sword to fight with two weapons. Skulltaker decided he would have to put a stop to that.
"When your Emperor first arose, he changed the world. Nay, the galaxy with his ideas. His enthusiasm was infectious, as evidenced by your fanaticism today. He did not bow to the system, he remade it in his image. Point the second." Skulltaker saw an opening in the Chaplain's guard and took it. His sword lashed out at the left elbow joint. Muscles severed, the Chaplain's left hand went limp and the chainsword clattered to the ground, still whirring. "Say what you will, beast, but the words of that godless heretic are as empty as your own!" the Chaplain roared, surging forward. Skulltaker laughed, sidestepping and holding out his cape like a bullfighter. "And now comes the delicious, delicious irony." he crowed, kicking the Chaplain in the back and watching him stumble. "As you may remember, the Emperor himself was an avowed atheist in his lifetime." This enraged the Chaplain further. "He lives still!" he bellowed, swinging wildly. Skulltaker parried effortlessly. His blows were growing less focused. "Maybe, maybe not. But we're losing the point. It may have been that the Emperor knew of the existence of the True Gods, or maybe not. But the atheism of an Ubermensch stems not from a lack of faith, but from defiance. He turns his back on Heaven choosing to make his own way. You cannot deny that your Emperor did this. Third point to me." Skulltaker parried another strike and stepped behind the Chaplain, striking at the back of a knee joint. The Astartes' leg gave out, and he dropped to one knee. Still determined to fight, he shifted himself to face his opponent and lashed out with his mace.
Skulltaker hopped over the swing. The fight was already over, but he wasn't done talking. Let the mortal flail, he had one last point to make. "This brings us to the supreme irony of the Imperium of Man. The Emperor was an atheist, you revere him as a god. He defied the social structure, you follow it blindly. He questioned the morals of his time, you punish such questions with death. You are his opposite. The people of the Imperium fit the archetype of the Last Man. Where the Ubermensch overthrows the system, you need it. You reject the Gods and replace them with your own. You lack a moral compass, and are given one by your system. In short, you are a twisted parody of your beloved Emperor, and his enemy by your very nature. Fourth point." Skulltaker's sword lashed out, severing the Chaplain's right arm. Desperate to harm the daemon in any way he could, the Chaplain tried to headbutt U'zuhl. Instead, he was met with a pommel to the face. The blow cracked his helmet, and the daemon pulled it off. "You know, it's the darndest thing." he said, placing his hand on the dazed Chaplain's forehead. "I find Nietzsche to be intellectually bankrupt, but I'm fascinated by him anyway." With that, he spoke the Eight Words of Release. Daemonic fire engulfed the Chaplain's head, leaving only a bleached skull for him to take. The Astartes had been less talkative than he'd hoped, but his actions had spoken loudly enough. The debate was settled.