Salvain

[Salvain]

General Information
Name:Salvain
Nickname:Xion
Age:18
Gender:Male
Sexuality:bi
Race: half demon bat
Profession: demon slayer

Personality
One word to describe your character:Valiant
Likes: Silence and peace
The bright blue sky above
The loveliness of nature
Dislikes: Demons
Spiders
Assassins that are after me
Strengths: Speed/Agility: He can run faster then most
Strength: He is stronger then most half demons of his kind
Regeneration: He can heal from wounds sometimes in 3 days
Since of smell: He can track demons by there sent
Elemental energy: He can use many different elemental attacks like the element of darkness.
Flight: With his wings he can sore throughout the sky
Weaknesses: Light attacks: If its to bright he cant see
Water: He cant swim well
Fire: Intense heat will cause him harm
Side: Good
Detailed personality description: He is dark yet devoted. He likes to be on his own; he barley speaks to anyone and he barley spends time with anyone. As far as he is concerned he can only trust himself. He is maybe a bit depressed, from everyone he gets close to being hunted. When he trys to be happy and make friends, he feels as if he eather hurts them or they betray him.
Appearance
Image:
Overall description:


Eye color: Crystal Blue

Hair Color: Black

Weight: 200

Height:6,1


History
Detailed Personal History: His father was a demon general who had 2 sons. One with a demon one with a human mother. Salvain is the protector of humans he protects them against evil demons, and his brother Revis a full fledged demon. When they were younger they use to be the best of friends but when they got older Revis would later betray Salvain, leaving him in the vast waste land. Salvain would latter find that his brother was planing to attack the humans who once protected and raised Salvain as a child.
Salvain and Revis would then fight for 7 days and 7 nights nether of them would falter against the other. Revis jealous that Salvain would take his fathers place instead of him. Revis' mother is a full fledged demon.

The word :Floccinaucinihilipilification

[都Tsuzuki筑]

Copy and pasting personality quiz resultes does not count as a detailed personality description. Your grammar and spelling are still way off, and Revis and Salvain cannot be full brothers if one if hanyou and one is youkai. You also need to include what kind of half demon he is.

Also, you can stop trying to be poetic and crap~ 'The sound of Silence. Just say 'silence'.

[Salvain]

any better?

[ryuukotsusei]

Okay I will just post out a few things skip a few minor things:
Soar not sore. Scent not sent. Sense not since. Feels not feals. Unsure exactly what heather is suppose to be exactly....can go a few ways on it. Crystal for the combination of all the ways to spell it in someones name. Later not latter.

Now to chnage the fact the was not whole brothers all you really had to do was at the top change where they said they had two sons and said "Their father" had two sons with different woman a Yokai and and Human.

All of that is the minor stuff for me, mainly cause you get the idea of what its saying and I could understand more if you was young or maybe learning or not so well in english but the capitation and punctuation is something needed. Some sentences run together like that and can sometimes change their meaning completely.

So I recommend to you to first write your post in Microsoft Word. That way when you actually get the punctuation in there it will captial the letters for you. It will spellcheck you constantly, and any name or Japanease word, you can add as the spell check goes through. Now the things I named off to you word will not fixed but this would help you get your character accepted here.

[都Tsuzuki筑]

Takai. You are NOT staff, stop mini modding. I've been doing this for quite a few years and me and my staff are more than capable. I appreciate they you're trying to help, but leave this to us.

[Salvain]

any better?

[syeira]

It was constructive critisisim, Tsu. And this is the first time Takai's done that. Give him some slack. It's not like he was calling Sal a retarded bimbo or demanding that he change his bio or saying he was a useless faggot that couldn't spell. I think that should be added to the rules that constuctive critisism is allowed, but no flaming or demanding or overuse of the constructive critisism. And also, Tsu, it isn't like you pointed out or explained everything. Spell check isn't going to catch the words he misspelled; they were actual words, just misused.

[都Tsuzuki筑]

Apparently you never saw the original profile. This is actually the second time he's done it-- I deleated the first post. And in any event it's not his place to reply to profile bios; PM someone if you wanna give them constructive critisism, which he shouldn't be giving without being asked anyway.

You think I'm being to strict? You work with him on the bio then.

[都Tsuzuki筑]

I went through and fixed some things myself. Now it's approved, I suppose.