Salvain

[Salvain]

General Information
Name: Salvain
Nickname: Xion
Age: 19 by humin standards
Gender: male
Sexuality: bi
Race: hlaf demon
Profession: prtection of mortals

Personality
One word to describe your character: vailiant
Likes:
Hard rock music
Anime
Hanging out with my girlfriend and friends

Dislikes:
Bossy people
Spiders




Strengths:
Regeneration: ability i can regenrate from mild scrapes or scratchs
Elemental power: i can use dark energy
Flight- i can levitate or fly
Speed /Agilty: i can run faster then most
Temperature: i can resiest any temprature heat or cold
Weakness
Amulet: if something strikes his amulet he becomes like any other mortal
Kindness/Loyalty: once he is loyal to some one he will protect them with every fiber of his being

Side: Good
Detailed personality description:



Eye color: Chrystalis Blue

Hair Color: Black

Weight: 200

Height: 6'1

History
Detailed Personal History: His mother once a princess and protector of man and his father a strong demon who fell in love to creat 2 sons who would fight i am salvain one of there sons and protector of the humin race i will make shure the gate to hell stays sealed so evil demons dont try to take over the world he carrys 2 large hand guns and one shaped like a cross on his back along with his fathers sword known as Rebellion

[都Tsuzuki筑]

[/i]. You're missing the entire detailed personality description section. You need THREE weaknesses, and preferably something a little better than loyalty-- I want something that will legitly compromise his battleing ability.

This is generally done in third person point of view, so it might be best if you write that way rather than first person (ex., 'He' instead of 'I'). Especially if you're going to totally ignore the rules of grammar and not even capitalize I-- and you seem to switch from 'I' to 'he' a few times. It all needs to stay in the same POV.

Hard rock music did not exist in the feudal era, which I'm assuming he lives in as you did not state otherwise. People in this era didn't really 'date' either, per say. You 'courted' if your parents hadn't already chosen your future bride/husband for you. Handguns too, not very big. True, the Japanese did have some guns through Dutch trading, but they were confined to only Nagasakijima (Nagasaki Island), so the goods weren't very widespread, and from what I've seen they always seem to have hunting rifles pictured. You're also going to need one more dislike-- the minimum is three.

His history.... Is one giant run-on scentence. That is not going to work. It also doesn't look like it's going to be long enough-- add some more info. Tell me a little about the relationship between him and his brother, and/or their childhood.

If this is the same character you used on version one of PotW, you also need to add a section of history explaining what happened to him on the old site.

You're also missing the section for 'The Word', which can be found in the Rules.

You might want to take a look at these links, they might prove helpful.

Example Human
Example Demon
Example Hanyou
How NOT to Create a Character

And remember, PENDING characters go in the PENDING character's Board, like it says in the board description! Not in the section with the helpful links and such!

[/ul][/blockquote][/font][/size]