Post by 都Tsuzuki筑 on Oct 27, 2008 19:41:28 GMT -7
There is absolutely no way. It's impossible. Inconceivable. It's not me.
I've fucked up pretty badly before, but this one certainly takes the cake. Or would it be the sake... Whatever. It's not important. The important thing is that none of this was intentional. I never meant for the following events to happen, and I sure as hell didn't think it'd end like this. Four months and four children later, what happened those nights is still a little blurry. Thanks to the sake, no doubt. But from what I can remeber, and what I've managed to learn from Ayame, this is pretty much what happened.
The dreary light of a cold winters day was just begging to melt into another long, freezing winter night as when we discovered the deserted village. It was Yuki, actually, who lead us to it, and Poipoi. The two of them pulled off one of Yuki's great escapes and started running down the mountain slope, toward the little valley below us. I don't know how none of us hadn't noticed the village before, but then again I didn't really see how it was of interest to then in the first place. But being the kind demon that I am, I took after Yuki to make sure she didn't get herself hurt. Then the other two took off after me.
Now, I thought I was fast. I am. Really. But Kouga? That's just insane. That's how I found out he had Shikon shards, of course, the one thing I came all the way down from the North to get. And of course it's another Yourouzoku who has them, one of the few people I would really rather avoid killing. Our people aren't very fond of kinslayers. At all.
Anyway, I took off running, but I get outpaced by a freaking whirlwind. When he finally stops running, at the outskirts of the village, Ayame, who was a good two hundred yards behind me pulls some sort of teleportation trick. So now I'm the left in the dust, struggling to catch up to the other two. Kouga seemed to find this quite amusing-- I believe he said something along the lines of, "Comeon slowpoke, what took ya so long?"... I remember just rolling my eyes and pretending I wasn't totally out of breath from trying to keep up... Ayame was probably laughing to, come to think of it. Most of the time she just sort of agreed to whatever Kouga said and gave the reaction she though he was looking for-- while also making sure I knew that he was off limits and that she'd be his mate eventually, which just succeeded in pissing us both off. Really, I had no intention on 'stealing' Kouga from her... Funny how things work out though, no? But, I digress. Back to the story.
We found the two runaway pups a little further into the village, playing tug-of-war with a scrap of cloth they picked up from somewhere. The village itself seemed to be empty, it's inhabitants long gone. The air still held the faintest stench of demon, which may explain the lack of people.
To be honest, it was m idea we stay in the village for the night. It'd been a while since we stopped to rest, and Ayame was annoying the hell out of everyone with her constant complaints about the temperature. Some of us actually like the cold you know!
So once we reached an agreement on that, I went to go wander around and see if there was anything left worth taking. It didn't take me long to find the sake-- it was hidden inside a temple, though it would have been pretty hard to find without demon hypersense.
So the three of us ended up sitting on the floor of the shrine, talking, while Kouga and I drank sake. Apparently Ayame doesn't much like the stuff, but then again, she is crazy. I don't really remember what the conversation was about, but eventually I must have gotten pretty drunk and pissed Ayame off, so she up and left to go explore some more, leaving some pretty obvious hints that she wanted Kouga to follow her...Well, he didn't. And now, I sort of wish he did.
Everything gets pretty fuzzy after that, so I'm assuming that's when I got really hammered. And I don't know who started it, but Kouga still claims I was the one coming into him. I dunno, but somehow when Ayame came back a half hour or so later well... we were having sex, to put it bluntly.
From what Kouga tells me, this is something like what went on while Ayame was out.
We were having some discussion, and it turned to the whole Ayame/Kagome/Him situation thing. All these love shapes (they’re not even triangles anymore, more like polygons) confuse the hell outta me, so I won’t even bother.
Then I allegedly make some comment about how it was even possible for someone as attractive as him to not be able to get any female he wanted, (I’m not sure how much I believe about this part, you have to admit it sounds like something he’d say about himself) then apparently I stratled him. Now, being the saintly guy that he is, in his version of the story he tries to convince me otherwise, but I want none of that. I start kissing his neck and, who can say no to that? I’m pretty damn sexy if I so say so myself. And guess what? I do say so. So there.
Then things start to get hot and it continues like that for a while, until Ayame walks in.
So from what she said she leaves the room and starts angry crying and everything, we don't notice, and now I'm just going to skip to the next morning.
I woke up on the floor of the temple, alone, naked, and feeling very, very ill. It felt something like I had just been trampled by a stampede of three eyed demon cows, and any sort of light or sound made my already awful headache worse. The shouting match going on outside didn't help much either.
That's the part where I sorta of realized that I wasn't wearing any clothing, and I got pretty freaked out-- I couldn't remember anything that had happened the previous night. It hurt to move, but I somehow forced myself to get up and pull my skirt and armor back on to see where the others went. My rational thinking improved as I grew more awake (my head still hurt like hell though) and I had a vague idea of what must of happened in the back of my mind. Yet I still tried to convince myself that it wasn't true, it didn't happen, and my waking up unclothed was just part of a very bad dream. With the state my head was in, I wouldn't have known the difference.
Stumbling my way out of the little holy place, I was halted for a moment by the bright, eye-singeing rays of sunlight. Even the weak winter sun was to strong for me in my state. Damn hangover. But I did find the source of all the racket.
Ayame was standing at the far end of the little town square, crying and shouting hysterically at Kouga. I couldn't understand what she was saying, and I honestly didn't care. I do remember hoarsely shouting at her to shut up and that I didn't feel well, to which she responded something like, "Well you wouldn't, whore!"
Which sort of confirmed my fears about the previous night’s events.
The next week or so was quite awkward. Ayame didn't want anything to do with me, or Kouga for once, so she kept off to herself, toward the back of the group. She did start to make some attempt to win Kouga back, though being as I really didn't want anything to do with him either she didn't have to much competition. My line of thinking was somewhere along the lines of 'If you pretend it never happened, then it never happened'. And maybe that would have worked, maybe everything would have been okay, the group go their separate ways, Ayame could go back to stalking and I could forget this ever happened. But unfortunately someone upstairs has got to hate me.
It couldn't have been more than a week after the incident, and we had since moved far off from the village. We were out in the wilderness somewhere now, but we were covering less and less ground each day.
I started to feel tired, I was always hungry, and I would wake up in the morning feeling sick to my stomach. Hell, I even threw up a few times. I had absolutely no idea why. I mean, I did have my suspicions, that nagging worry in the back of my head, but I dismissed it for nothing and continued on with my life.
But it never got better, and by week two I really had to come to grips with the fact that I might be pregnant. My worst fear. I mean me, with children? Yukiko was one thing, but actual children? There was no way I could handle that. I wasn’t ready. I never would be. I hated children—really, I did. I still do. Just not my children. All others though.
Breaking the news was fun, of course. Rather than drag it out or beat around the bush, I just pulled Kouga aside and told him. Yes, I’m blunt. Deal with it.
He was… surprised, to say the least. Pretty freaked out. Understandable, of course, because I felt the same way… Just a little more frightened, and pissed off. Yes, I was pretty pissed off. Seriously though, I thought he was going to faint or something. The look on his face would have been priceless in any other situation. He stood there staring blankly at me for a while, before asking, “Really?”. I sighed and nodded. Yes really. Like I’d joke about this shit. Kouga regained his composure eventually though. We both decided it was best not to tell Ayame yet—the later she knew, the better. Less time with her having another psycho meltdown on us. Still, things were pretty awkward again for the next few weeks… Kouga actually tried to make an effort to be sweet to me, but I’m not good with that kind of stuff—I’m more of a take care of my self, no frills kind of girl. In a way, it kind of made things worse. I don’t react well in intimate situations, since I don’t like opening up or accepting help from anyone. I grew up on my own, and that’s the only way I’ve ever really known.
So days passed, blah blah blah, etc. etc., and it became pretty hard to hide from Ayame my, uh… condition. Hell, I didn’t even fit into my armor anymore. Good thing I wear a bandage wrapping under it, because I sure as hell wasn’t walking around topless until the baby came. It was more like just wearing a belly shirt…. Which would have looked great on me, if it hadn’t been for the fact that by the end of month one I was huge.
Now, onto Ayame’s reaction. When we told her, she just lost it. Screaming, crying, calling me a whore—the usual. And I was in no mood to listen to her go on and on about how horrible we were, so I bitch-slapped her. She looked frightened, then ran off crying again. I went and took a nap.
So, more awkward time, until somewhere at the end of month two I actually have the baby. It’s pretty fucking painful, for the record. By the end of that experience, I had already thought up a number of different ways I could kill Kouga for doing this to me, but somehow the whole baby thing brought us closer together. Who ever would have guessed?
Little Seilu has that effect on people though—everyone just seems to love her. Even Ayame, who hates the two of us with a burning passion, wouldn’t be able to bring herself to hurt the little girl. Or, she hasn’t yet at least.
And I was sort of happy it was a girl. A single female would be easier to raise. I got lucky, considering wolf pups are usually born in litters of two to four pups. That may have very well killed me. But more than anything I wanted a male pup-- to be able to provide a son and heir. Then there was also the fact that I was fat. I’m not big at all—5’1”, and quite slender, but the baby just killed that. Not good for my self esteem at all. Still, even I have to admit that I was enchanted by Sei—I still am. For someone who totally hated just about any creature younger than myself, it was a big turnaround for me. Now I just hate all things younger than myself that aren’t mine.
And just when I started to work of the pounds from baby number one, Kouga had to go and kill it all again.
It was a nice night, (for me, at least), very cold, with the luminous glow from the full moon overhead. The skies were cloudless, clear, starry, and best of all, Seilu was sleeping through the night. Totally amazing.
My little girl was bundled up in some furs and resting within the shelter of some tree roots, while I sat watch on a fallen log a few feet away. I maybe wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have to possible dangers, but it was really quiet, and watching was getting really boring. I instead occupied myself by stargazing and humming.
That’s when I was so startled when Kouga came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.
Now, for a species of demon that’s supposed to be very social, I’m the black sheep I suppose. Forget emotionally, even just physically being to close to someone makes me uncomfortable. Though, you have to keep in mind the fact that, being an ice elemental, my body temperature is usually a good five to seven degrees below normal, and I’m very sensitive to heat, body heat included. Though it’s not enough to weaken me at all really, I still notice it.
Anyway, I jumped a bit, but tried to be cuddly—another thing I’m not very good at. But I kinda just sat there, glancing back between the sky and Seilu, and it wasn’t all that bad. Then Kouga muttered something about how pretty the sky was, and, much to my dismay, leaned down and kissed me. The part that confused me even more was how when he broke away, I didn’t want it to end. And so since I am Zuki and I always get what I want, I kissed him back. That led into a very passionate make-out session, which ended with the two of us rolling off the log and into the snow. I made a few halfhearted comments about how we were going to wake Seilu, so he picked me up bridal style and carried me off a little further into the trees, where we proceeded to… ya know, breed. Yes, we know we’re horrible parents, but somehow Seilu managed to stay sleeping through all that—a miracle within itself.
So, we all know this part of the story, weeks later, I find out I’m pregnant again. I was surprised about how well Kouga handled it this time—he freaked out a little a first, but then seemed almost happy… I wasn’t. Living hell. Of course, Ayame took it the worst, but we all know her.
So months pass, blah blah blah, I have the kids, triplets, go on a long rant about how Kouga’s never getting laid ever again, you know the drill, and two months later is where we are now. We still don’t really know what we’re doing, but we get by.
Some might say I really fucked up here. Yes, I admit that I did. But I don’t regret to much of it. Just the kids. And it would be nice to be able to remember my first time, but hell, it wouldn’t have happened without the sake anyway.
I only stay for the kids. I’m a gold digger and I only stay because he has jewel shards. Maybe it’s true, maybe I just need to convince myself this, but the one thing I will say is that,
There is no possible chance that I could actually be in love.[/blockquote][/ul]
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