Re-Done Luna

[akina]

General Information
Name: Luna
Nickname: Lu-Lu or Looney, Crazy Bit**
Age: Appears 24
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Straight
Race: Dog Demon
Profession: Wanderer

Personality
One Word to Describe Your Character: Brave
Likes:
Staying Alive
Music
Her Children
To be at someones funeral
Smoking

Dislikes:
Tashamaru
Naraku
Fighting
Crowds
People who think their perfect

Strengths:
Her sword nicknamed Moon
Love
Meditation
Masochrist{For those who don't know, if you put pain on her she'll enjoy it.}

Weaknesses:
Weak against purification
Ruthless
Senseless
Easily Angered


Side: Good

Detailed Personality Description:
Luna was in the beginning quiet naive and thought she was the top of the world, she would help anyone out when she could and got into a lot of fights.
She could easily fall in love with anyone, Tashamaru was just lucky.

She is very timid, easily aroused, and quiet disturbing. Especially when she gets angry, no matter how much pain you put her though she will always be happy.
Back when she was completely naive she seemed out of her mind. And since Luna was her name, someone nicked her Looney.

Appearance
Image:
Overall Description:

• Eye Color: Golden
  
• Hair Color: Silver
  
• Weight: 143
  
• Height:5'7''

History

Detailed Personal History:

Born in the center of japan, Luna had two other siblings, her twin sister Star and a half brother named Aoi. Aoi was extremely jealous of both twin girls because they got more attention then he ever did, but his father forced Aoi to train the young girls and how to protect themselves. And they learned quickly, Aoi was only slightly proud.

Soon the East of Neko's, which Aoi nicknamed because he disliked Cats so much when he came across one he had no mercy for any of them, came after the small village to take it over as theirs. Luna, Star, Aoi, and they parents all tried defending the village along with the small warrior group, Star was injured and fleed in fear, Aoi was murdered by being distracted by his step mother's death. So now Luna's Father and herself were all that were left, they fought long and hard until finally Luna's father was killed in front of her eyes. Luna lost control and went on a killing spree with these neko's.

But as she was killing the last one in her own home, they had set the hut on fire and the hut came crashing down on her, the neko died but she somehow lived. And so the Lord of the West, InuTashio, came and saved her from the burning hut. Raising her from such a bad experience, Tashamaru and Sesshoumaru already disliked her. But it's like she didn't know any better from it, she ignored it and kept silent for quiet sometime.

Finally when InuTashio was going after Iziyoi, Luna begged him to not go and to stay with her, InuTashio only replied, "It's my responsibility, and I must save her Luna..." the exact last words she heard from her father was "Do you have someone to Protect?" Those were the words she kept close to her heart.
Since then, Luna has been trying to make sure that Tashamaru and Sesshoumaru realized InuTashio's words. Tashamaru of course, as we all know, fell in love with Luna as she did with Tashamaru.

A few hundered years later Tashamaru and Luna had twins, a boy they named InuTashia, and a girl they named Kaya. Yes Tashamaru and Luna had a serious break up but they eventually worked it out and are now back together once again.

Now Luna is just staying by Tashmaru's side, trying to gain her children's trust once again.


The Word?
'Tyrotoxism'

[都Tsuzuki筑]

You obviously haven't read my guide on how to create a character. Angel of Death is NOT a nickname. Give her some actual weaknesses too-- none of those count, in my opinion. Your personality is a horror to read, and not personality at all, really-- its more history. Fix that. Same with your history-- proof read!

And for the final time-- this goes for everybody! WONDERER IS NOT A PROFESSION! ITS SPELLED 'WANDERER'![/b]

[akina]

xP I's sorry, I get confused at times, Wanderer check x x; Fixing

[都Tsuzuki筑]

Tis okay-- I just see that all the time, its not just you who does it x.x You know about my grammar Nazi ways v.v xP

[akina]

x333 Yesh I do, um, help meh out, whats wrong with meh history?

And I forgots about the Wanderer, Its been a while x x

[都Tsuzuki筑]

Be a little more in depth... and your saying 'she almost caused a holocaust'.. incorrect use of the word, it just doesn't seem right there-- proofread, and make sure everything stays in the same tense^^

[都Tsuzuki筑]

Your weaknesses are still kina 'eh'-- any demon would be weak against purification.

Try putting the history in past tense-- ex: Luna got to learn, rather than, 'Luna gets to learn'

and expand on her personality, please.

[akina]

Alright and now?

[Lord Sesshomaru]

Well for one 'I'm try and place her main personality that pops up when you meet her.' that really makes no sense, and I have no idea what you're trying to get across. When it comes to 'But that would all change when her parents dead,'I do belive that would be died. When you try to write you history, it's hard to understand the way you word it. Please try to make you personality and history a bit more easily read; so we don't have to guess what you're trying to say.

Itch~

[akina]

Gah x x that makes more sense, you have to speak durdurnur to me Zuki-san xPPP

[akina]

Can someone say something approved or not? O o;

[Lord Itachi]

Approved

[都Tsuzuki筑]

No...

Her personality is still very basic, and a lot of what you say still makes no sense. Personality genes? wtf?

Your history is also all over the place when it comes to tense, and shares a lot of ther personalitie's 'wtfareyoutalkingabout'-ness. And comma splices.

*points to the spell check button* It is there for your benefit.

[akina]

- -; I use spell check Zuki, it doesn't catch EVERY single mistake.

[都Tsuzuki筑]

Lets try this again.

Staying Alive for one
Music
She loves her children
To be at someones funeral
Smoking

Okay... just put 'her children'. It makes more sense. And get rid of the 'for one'.

Tashamaru at the moment
Naraku
Fighting
Crowds
People who think their perfect

Just put Tashamaru. And it's 'they're' not 'their'.

Her sword nicknamed Moon
Her demon
Protective heart
She's able to have a protective seal on herself and if she so desires no one can touch her until otherwise.{More for defensive}
She can sorta hold sutras

'Her demon'? She IS a demon. That makes no sense-- same with 'protective heart'. Sorry, I just don't get it. And she can't be weak to purification and sort of hold sutras.

She wont fight Tashamaru, nor her children
She hates pain and blood
She is weak against purification
Since she left she has become weaker in her senses

Pain and blood no longer counts as a weakness in any profile, and not fighting Tash is not a weakness either.

Luna is the beginning was quiet naive and thought she was the top of the world, she would help anyone out when she could and got into a lot of fights.

Your wording is wrong-- Luna WAS in the beginning, quite naive and thought herself on top of the world-- is correct.

She fell in love with Tashamaru, her demon still believes she's in love with him.

Wtf is this 'her demon' business?

So basically, she's now into reality, and she has completely relaxed.
Surprise, relaxation, timid, and then if you push her the wrong way, rage. These are her basic 'personality' genes. xP
And too add on to this, her rage has become so intense that she wont stop until she sees blood of the victim.

I don't like this whole section. It doesn't make sense. At all.

Hm, maybe I should add why Looney is one of her nicknames, back when she was completely naive she seemed out of her mind. And since Luna was her name, someone nicked her Looney {Itch/Nyx/Zuki x x}.

Remove the references to me&&Itch&&Nyx, it doesn't need to be there. And there's a semi-colon between nicknames and back.

[History to come][/size]